she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize