how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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