I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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