Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
