Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
