I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
