hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
