the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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