we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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