She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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