I CAN MOONWALK!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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