hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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