Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
