Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
