you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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