did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
