oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
