He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
