So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
