her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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