Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
