the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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