Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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