There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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