He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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