I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
