Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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