He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
