Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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