But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
