Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think i have two assholes
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize