Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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