I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
