i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
