her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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