I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it because I queefed?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I believe in your delicious
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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