her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
