Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
