her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize