This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize