dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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