? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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