thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
