I'm jealous of your bromance
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
