Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
