If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
