so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
