So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
