Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
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