i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
