My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
