you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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