So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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