yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
