can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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