69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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