hell yes lets make some ravioli
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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