Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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