watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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