You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
