Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize