No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
