After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
