I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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