I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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