no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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